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Don’t pressure yourself too much—you don’t need to go full throttle and talk throughout your entire sex session, after all. “If you’re new to talking dirty, begin with some generous but honest verbal feedback that includes moans, groans, deep exhales, or other sounds to let your lover know that you’re enjoying yourself,” she says. If you find yourself at a loss for words, there’s an easy remedy. Start narrating what you’re doing to your partner’s body and how they make you feel.

And now, to make things even easier, here’s short list of lines you can use in a pinch, provided by our sex-perts:

Tease your boo with naughty thoughts and even discuss playful punishments. Maybe you’ll discover a mutual kink that spices up your sex life. Consensual spanking and light bondage can add an intense edge to your sexual talk. Dirty talk isn’t just delivering a monologue so heinous it would make a sailor jealous; it’s about tapping into your imagination to build-up sexual tension. Whether you’re engaging in verbal foreplay before a hookup or uttering passionate prose to your one-night-turned-Mr. Right, fervent communication can be a massive turn-on for everyone.

  • Jennifer Litner, sexologist and founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness, says before you talk dirty to your partner, get their consent.
  • This linguistic exchange can reveal the darker fantasies of the mind and be played out in the privacy of the bedroom.
  • “I want to reassure people that you don’t need to be a master, and that feeling silly in sex or laughing is sometimes all part of the fun,” says Lovegood.
  • The comfort you feel in your relationship has everything to do with what you’re willing to try sexually.

Confidence 101

If your guy knows what he’s doing in bed tell how much you appreciate it. That thing you did last time with your tongue — un-freaking-believable! Raph has the most beautiful soul and continues to explore his relationship with men. Raphael hasn’t had sex yet and discusses when the special moment will cum, hook-up culture and the misconception of the LGBTQIA+ community.

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“When you’re trying something new in the bedroom, talking about it can help set the stage and engage your partner’s desires,” Luna Matatas, a sex and pleasure educator, tells Elite Daily. “You can mention that you’re curious about dirty talk and ask what your partner’s experience is with it or what they think about it. If you’re nervous about trying it out or worried about feeling silly — let them know this too. This can give your partner an opportunity to affirm you, and it can help you take the pressure off of performing perfectly.” Plus, if dirty talk isn’t for you, definitely let your partner know. As forced as it sounds when you read it, many of us love hearing dirty talk in the bedroom.

But if you’re fumbling up your tongue tango, it can quickly deflate the mood (not to mention other things). Congrats, you’ve made it to the end of this dirty talk lesson and passed with flying colors. “Showing enthusiasm for what you’re doing and for the person you’re with can help people feel wanted and desired,” says Harris.

In our verbal fantasies, commands rarely serve the same function they serve in ordinary conversation, especially in pornography where the enthusiastic obedience of the passive partner utterly negates any need for orders. For many people, the thought of talking dirty during sex can be especially daunting. There are also audiobooks available spotlighting many of the best erotic stories today, too. Check out The Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Vol 5 and narrated by erotica writer and editor Rose Caraway.

I’ll walk you through the things to generally avoid, include, and steer clear of altogether, in order for you to dominate the world of dirty talk. Dirty talk is an often overlooked but very powerful aspect of increasing sexual tension. It activates the imagination, supercharges sexual polarity, and adds a steamy air of liberation to your naked shenanigans. Sean is the editor of Bad Girls Bible and responsible for recruiting our team of sex and relationship experts.